Saturday, July 23, 2011

I sing songs about the past...

*Tonight as I sit here watching television with my family I got the notion to sift through a few old ideas I had for blogs. I figured I delete a few, save a few, maybe reword some things here and there. What I found was something that is actually not half bad so I thought, what the hell, I'll post it. Now I will say its a bit dated given that I've already turned 18 and graduated, but the message is still good! Enjoy!
One month. One month and I will be 18. One month and I will graduate high school. There's this huge part of me that's screaming and happy dancing and breaking hypothetical dishes on the theoretical floor (I watch far too many movies). But there in the middle of this huge mental celebration is the overly rational part of me. The part that worries about the little things, makes plans, and fears failure. In other words, the killjoy, no fun, party pooper. And somehow this tiny little part of me manages to completely override the immature, happy dancing part. I stop thinking "Hells Yeah! I'm gonna graduate!" And start thinking "What's your plan? What are you gonna do now that you've graduated? YOU NEED TO PLAN!!" Its amazing how quickly fear can take over. I know I'm not the only senior in the world who worries like this. From the first day of 7th grade till the day we walk across that stage we are forced fed the idea that we MUST know exactly what we want to do with our lives. We need to know what degree, what college, etc. Its overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, I know there are those of us who DO know exactly what they want. They know the steps they need to take and they're gonna do it. And that is AWSOME! But I also know there are those of us who just don't know what we want to do. We have ideas, we know what we like but we just aren't sure. Then there are those who have (don't laugh!) DREAMS! Ahh yes, dreams! Those silly things that are generally lost long before we hit our teen years. But there are the few of us, the whimsical, "immature" few that still believe we might actually pull it off. I'm one of those people. Yes I know its hard to believe that the quiet girl just might wanna play guitar & sing in a band! Or be a live show photographer. Or a regular photographer. Or a graphic designer. Or a programmer. So I don't have all the answers! Someday, I will. In the meantime, I'm going to be attending *gasp* Junior College! I'm going to laugh and live my life as it comes and, most importantly, I'm gonna hold on to that immature little kid that screams and happy dances and breaks theoretical plates on hypothetical floors, and dreams like there are no limits, because without that part of me I wouldn't be, well, ME! So to conclude this rant that probably very few people will read I will say just one more thing: don't give up! Not on yourself, not on your dreams, not on anything! Take a deep breath, let it all the way out, stop thinking so much, and smile!
I know its a bit long but I hope you guys suffered through it alright! So here's my question for you: does anyone else feel this way? Lemme know!
Peace, Love, Music<3
Sent from my U.S. Cellular BlackBerry® smartphone

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